So it’s 12 midnight and I’m in the only twenty four hour Starbucks I know in this country.
Tomorrow, guessed what? I will be graduating! Earlier I was at the University, walking with some of my batchmates, finalizing some papers. The graduation hadn’t fully sunk in yet to me or it wouldn’t just sink in me. For some of the students these seems to be a big deal but for me I just couldn’t hyped myself to it. In fact, I had some late preparation and if I wouldn’t be informed I wouldn’t prepare.

Just like the measuring of the toga outfit. I had forgotten that day! And it only occurred to me when one of my batch mates mentioned if I already took it. I was like…took what? The outfit I was going to wear for graduation! And I was like, oh, ahh… And then in some way I hurried and looked for ways to get that outfit. I texted the company that make that outfit and exchanged messages. I was really fortunate to open my Facebook account that day, because I don’t open my social media websites every day. Weeks would go by I wouldn’t, so week would go by, I’ll missed the chance and probably attend my graduation, wearing something different from my fellow grad mates. Of course, since I love procrastinating about these kind of stuffs I left my home late the day I was supposed to pick my graduation toga outfit. On my way to the University where I was supposed to pick it, I was hit by another anxiety again. It was already 5 pm. What if they were only until 3 in the afternoon and what made me presume they would stay until late in the evening. So I tried to text but they didn’t reply. I arrived and was glad they were still there. Fortunately, it ended well as I was able to pick my toga outfit.

And then there was this transcription of records. I also didn’t know that a specific date was set for the application. I only noticed it at the bulletin board. I glanced at it and raised an eyebrow. Oh. I looked at the windows behind me where I was supposed to apply. Office closed 5. I have to go back tomorrow. I sighed and just thought, will I always be like this?

So far this graduation was giving me a lot of anxiety. I don’t know why but I was nervous. Earlier, as we walked around the University I was hit with a lot of nostalgia. You must understand, I am one of those untypical students who would graduate. Ninety percent of those who would graduate this semester did so in the right time, meaning, they spent the exact four years in college. That was the average for any college students. Four years then off to work. I, meanwhile was struck year after year. I don’t know how long. Five? Okay, I’ll be honest. Six. No. Seven. Yes, seven was the number. I spent seven years in college to take a four year degree course. I didn’t study straight with that time but I spent one year off, so all in all I spent six years in college. Too long. And usually these kind of students were called the ancients of the University.

So the sentimental was just great for me. Six years in college. I walked the same entrance. Probably ate on the same food stall or restaurant again and again. I drink on the same fountain and greeted the same professors. Probably argued with them for the same reason semester after semester. You know the tardiness and absentees I love to have. I doubled the school’s limit that should have make me repeat the subject. Sometimes, I was able to talk my way out. Sometimes I don’t. Calling out my name and telling me that I was drop and that I should leave the class was common. By the way, I’m not late on every subjects I had. Only on first subjects for the day.
I would argue. The library and of course the travel and traffic. That was my life. So the sudden change would come as a great impact on me. In some way the anxiety was great. I would be leaving and I wonder what would be after this. It seemed I am left feeling sentimental. But things had to change. I had to move on. I have to leave and yes, tomorrow is my graduation, and what am I doing here in Starbucks?

I really don’t know. I just hope I don’t arrived late in my graduation. For once in my college life and for the last time, I should arrived early. Don’t you think? Yes, I should go home now. The travel was still an hour and a half.

Then I saw this one specific Professor whom I’ve been thinking of having my novels edited. But after a short talked with her and when I walked out and ride the elevator down that was the only time I remembered that she was the professor I had in mind. I was like, what? So I just let it go. Perhaps, I’ll just look for someone else.